DANGERS IN THE HOME

judy register

So, there was that time my wife got stuck in the register…

Judy had placed her pants and shoes like this over the heat register in the bedroom and then yelled out “Help” in a muffled tone. I came running into the room to this scene… Of course, I dutifully turned the thermostat down and went back to eating my breakfast.

Good times…

SIDE NOTE: I remember when I posted this on Facebook a while back, someone thought it wasn’t funny because “What if she REALLY HAD fallen into the register?” (Seriously.) Well, that certainly woke me up — I made a promise to myself right then and there that I wouldn’t allow any 4″ x 10″ human beings into our home out of concerns for their safety.

 

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

I’ve been hesitant to comment on the Starbucks “controversy.” However, as a long-standing member of the Snowflake Society, I can no longer in good conscience remain silent. I am appalled that they left snowflakes off their coffee cups this holiday season, and that they instead chose to promote their communist agenda by using red cups.

I was planning on boycotting them, and then I remembered that I don’t drink coffee… But damn it, I may start now.

Btw, are you aware that McDonald’s arches are yellow? I mean, seriously — YELLOW!!? Who do they think they’re fooling? I know they’re secretly advocating sun-worshipping…. freaks.

Thank you and have a nice day.

SIDE NOTE:

It occurs to me that the problem with “political correctness” stems from the term itself.

I mean, isn’t “politically correct” an oxymoron?

Are politicians very often correct?

Why would anyone strive to be politically correct when the very nature of the phrase itself is a contradiction in terms?

Okay, now you can have a nice day.

If you want to.

I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do.

Or if they should be offended.

Or why.

But, seriously, relax. Have a cup of coffee. Have a soda. Have something, for God’s sake.

Not that I’m saying I believe in God, or not.

Good heavens…

THE IMPORTANCE OF FACEBOOK POPULARITY

gun to head 2

I know some people read my posts and some don’t.
I guage my entire self-worth on Facebook popularity.
Without your love, I am nothing, I am worthless, I am pond scum.

I take the time to look at a very small percentage of posts from my close, personal 695 Facebook friends. I would hope that you could do the same.

I wonder who will waste their time by reading to the end of this post,
because everyone knows that the true measure of love is full-post-reading.

Sigh…
If you love me, you won’t copy and paste this to prove it to me. I already know I am loved by some, not loved by others. I also know that the true measure of my worth is immeasurable. If I feel good about myself, chances are I’m a good person, and I don’t need mass approval to know this.

However, due to the peer pressure induced by social media, I implore you not to put a single word of how we met or what you think of me, but I would ask that you do a random act of kindness sometime in the next 24 hours.

And maybe just try to be a good person, to the best of your ability, every day.

Thank you and have a nice day…. unless you can’t or don’t want to. I’m not trying to pressure anyone….

Peace out.

Lucy on my face Picture 11 friends on bench

THE CONTAMINATION OF HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS

the thinker  addiction grief

shock treatments  vulcan mind meld with mccoy

Buddha

A quiet calm overcame him, as he suddenly realized that he wasn’t alone in his insanity, but that the whole of the human race had indeed been contaminated by the aggregate consciousness of mankind, a consciousness which had been subjected to a steady bombardment of hatred, bigotry, ignorance, and violence (much of it perpetuated by religious institutions, blindly or otherwise) for far too many centuries to withstand being affected to some degree himself…

May their gods have mercy on our souls, he thought to himself, then wondered if the soul of the Universe could hear him…

And then he woke up, smiled to himself, and thought: Just kidding. Some of you people are really whacked, but you’ll never control my mind. Only the Life Force that animates me can do that. And the insanity of human consciousness does not touch THAT in any way.

Peace out.

IF YOU ARE INTOLERANT OF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS….

Racism -- no one is born a racist  Buddha
spock live long  shock treatment
friends on bench
If you despise, dislike or are intolerant of ANY of the following GROUPS, I have a request:
Blacks (African-American only includes blacks in America, so I’m using a more inclusive term), Whites, Asians, Indians, Hispanics, homeless people, Vulcans, policemen, atheists, aliens, Christians, Buddhists, Mormons, Muslims, Hindus, shock treatment recipients, homosexuals, transsexuals, transgender, heterosexual or ANY other racial, ethnic, social or religious group that is not specifically designed to harm you, your family or anyone else, then PLEASE, my request is:
Do NOT “unfollow” me. You obviously need input from people more tolerant and loving than yourself. My friends and I will do our best to help you out in this regard.
Thank you and have a nice day…. (unless you don’t want to, or for some reason, CAN’T have a nice day)… I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do… Just making loving suggestions here…
Peace out. 

THE PEACE THAT KNOWS NO OPPOSITE

Sunset 1

When I remember that I am the ocean,

I no longer fear the waves.

A LITTLE ADVICE….

women over-reacting

For any of  you doubters, I’ll have you know that I have been very unsuccessful with this approach. 🙂

Life is short….

organic veg

I’VE BEEN ABSENT FROM MY BLOG….

I’ve been absent from my blog for over a month now. I’m just stopping in to say hey. I have something exciting happening in my life, and I’ll be focusing on it for a while. However, I’ve been asked not to talk about it on social media until we can strategize public relations.

20150718_193832

So, instead, let me show you a picture of Lucy and I dining together.

I’ve known a multitude of animals in my 62 years,

some of them QUITE special,

but we REALLY hit the jackpot with Lucy!

She is the sweetest thing in the world,

which is why I allow her on the table when I have a meal.

Some would find this disturbing (furry, whatever),

and my wife dissuaded it at first,

but some things are just meant to be,

and Lucy and I bonding during meals is one of those things, I reckon.

Thank you and have a nice day. 🙂

(Okay, I give in — the “something exciting” has to do with my book, Hungry Tigers.)

http://www.garyswoboda.com

hungry tigers 1

PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON

puff

Doing some yard work,

listening to a variety of music I have on my I-pod.

From Nirvana to Ray Charles, AC/DC to Dylan, Matchbox 20 to Peter, Paul and Mary.

And on and on.

Yes, Peter, Paul and Mary.

And as I listened, I thought to myself,

“Is there a sadder song than ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’?”
Not many, if there are….

I remember listening to it a couple years after our son died of an overdose.

I remember breaking down and literally sobbing like I hadn’t done since he had died.

And tears came to my eyes again today,

the sadness still there,

though not as intense,

almost ten years since he passed.

As the song goes,

“A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys,

Painted wings and giant’s rings make way for other toys…”

Sometimes our children trade their innocent toys in for dangerous toys.

Sometimes we who have survived longer have done the same thing.

addiction grief

Sixteen years sober this year and I would give anything

if Casey could be celebrating sobriety with me today.

And so I post again this last picture of Casey,

taken at our home, hugging me goodnight,

just moments before that beautiful, wonderful boy

went downstairs to his room

and took that last fatal shot of heroin.

Casey

And for those parents who have lost children to ‘dangerous toys,’

or for anyone who has lost a loved one to addiction,

I post the last few stanzas of a song that to me represents the loss of innocence

and also breaks my heart.

“A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant’s rings make way for other toys.
One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more,
And Puff, that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave,
So Puff, that mighty dragon, sadly slipped into his cave.”

Casey - Crater Lake

RIP, Casey.

RIP all who have lost the battle.

Philip Seymour Hoffman 2  Kurt Cobain  Belushi

  jimi 5   Janis  Jim Morrison

Chris Farley  amy winehouse

For anyone who is struggling with addiction,

or for the loved ones of those struggling with addiction,

please know that there doesn’t always have to be a sad ending.

I, and thousands of others, are proof that you can live a happy and fulfilling life

without the use of drugs and alcohol,

no matter how deeply immersed in addiction you have become.

Where there is breath, there is hope.

I wish you all peace.

http://www.garyswoboda.com.

hungry tigers 1